I don't understand a word you are saying. Literally. 

I will not mention which professor this is, just in case in an imaginary world he/she somehow finds my blog but I will call him/her Professor Brown (after crazy Doc Brown from Back To The Future). No matter how much reading I do for the subject, and how much work I do beforehand, I sit in class as mute as the chair I am sitting on. I do not understand a single thing he says. No, he doesn't have an accent. No, he isn't foreign in any shape of form. And no, he doesn't have a speech impediment (although Dad would say any American has a speech impediment). I just genuinely do not understand him. 

He will sprout off into random places throughout the classes. Asking us if we have read this or that which has nothing to do with what we are studying, or it might have a very tentative link. He assumes we have all heard of things he spontaneously declares to the class and I can see everyone else's eyes full of panic as he states this. Brave people nod and pretend they have heard about whatever he is talking about - it is just a bit embarrassing for them when he then asks them to explain it. 

There is a bit of an American stereotype that arts and humanities based teaches are nutters. My friends warned me about this before I came. However, it was a joke. They were saying how funny it would be if I got one of those stereotypically whacky teachers. 

well, Yippppeeee. 

It is so frustrating. Professor Brown jumps all over the place during the lesson and says words I have never heard of. 

"Lets dive in at page 23, oh I love that sentence, let me just take you to pg 67. Anyway else want to take us anyway? How about page 200."

It's like I am on a roller coaster…blind folded. 

I think I'll share some Professor Brown classics with you :-

1. I have a paper fetish. I love it. 

2. Everyone is a list, do you feel this? We are all lists. List of everything. 

3. This has all been full of coded technology. Our voices. We are all forced to speak and say things by the technology of voice. 

4. Wow, this sh*t is going down, this is an interesting piece.

5. I will never shut down my emotional side. 

6. I hate the classroom, we should just sit on the floor. 

7. This day is just a riff, no plan, no plan.

8. Can the subaltern speak?  

9. This sh*t we can get lost in for years. 

10. If you were the only person left on the planet, would you know who you were? 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. The amount of words and people Professor Brown references makes me feel like I am drowning. I feel so unprepared when I have done the work, I have done extra research but literally, I might as well watch endless reruns of Doctor Who for homework because it would help just as much.