American shopping, every girls dream right? Big glamourous shops with lots and lots of clothes, endless rows of shoes and countless numbers of handbags. Sound enough like the movies for you? Well just keep picturing that dream for a little longer....

"Hello Mam, Can I help you with anything?"

"Oh um, no I am fine thanks."

"Are you looking for anything in particular?"

"No, I am just looking."

"Ok."

(A few minutes later.)

"I have set up a dressing room for you over here, when your ready feel free to come right over, would you like me to take your bags."

Queue me trying my best not to swear or run away from the shop screaming.

What is with this American shop assistant thing? It is like having a mosquito hover around you, as much as you calmly swipe it away, it keeps coming back till you are left with no choice but to smack it against the wall. They can't take no for an answer. I mean setting up a dressing room for me before I have picked something off the rack and when I have calmly said that I am just looking to at least three different assistants!

I also feel like I am being watched by every assistant when I walk into the shop. If I look interested in an item they will immediately come over and ask me about it so I have to do this weird dance around the shop, pretending to look at the ceiling whilst secretly trying to flick my eyes downwards to glance at certain pieces. The moment I hover too long near a certain item I quickly dodge to a different one. I feel like I am literally walking on hot cobbles. It is almost like how I felt when I would enter a shop in London wearing a hoody and a large backpack. Except then they were watching me with the expectation that I would steal stuff.

It is so different to England. In England you may be asked once if you need any help. ONCE. And they kindly leave you alone to shop in peace. Not linger by your shoulder like some odd shopping shadow.

Furthermore, my english accent seems to be a charity que. I open my mouth and immediately MUG is imprinted on my forehead.

"Hello Madam, ooo this is a nice dress your buying. How are you today?"

"I am fine thanks,"

ENGLISH ALERT ENGLISH ALERT

"Ah.....would you like to buy any of our special price nail varnishes only for sale today?"

"Oh. Um I am ok thanks."

"Really? This colour would go so well with your dress."

"Er. Well I am really bad at painting my nails so maybe not, but thanks. Sorry."

"Well....would you like to buy one of these bracelets for charity, to help all the poor children in Africa. Only five dollars."

"Oh, ok then yes please."

"The nail varnish is only two."

"Oh. Well I'll get both then."

Really? Really! Seriously every shop I go into I am asked to donate to charity. Maybe I have one of those type of faces. I mean on campus, the guy who always tries to sell Hare Krishnas and Yoga books always makes a beeline for me. I could have sopping wet hair from the pool, be listening to my ipod, head firmly facing the floor and he'll run through crowds of chatty, happy, maybe even interested people, to tap me on the shoulder and ask me YET AGAIN if I have thought of the benefits of meditations, whilst trying to force books into my hands.

I really don't mind giving to charity in the shops either. I like doing it. It just annoys me when following me my friend Laura can so easily go up to the counter and buy her item.

"Hello madam, will that be all today?"

"Yes thanks,"

"There you go then."

WHAT! WHAT! No blackmailing? No questions? Nothing??

Maybe next time I'll just try and fake an accent.


(Just a sidenote - I did really enjoy my day out with Laura. We had such a laugh and it was nice to escape just us two. I love Xmas shopping and it was nice to see America decorated! Also going out for lunch and ice cream was good fun too) x