(The statement below is my opinion and only my own. I know it does not apply to all University staff such as one who is related to me who not only teaches and supervises students but is also saving lives with his incredible medical work and dedication. He is a true hero to me. But this is what I HAVE experienced at my University and in my department).

I have had a rant before about University staff. I have probably mentioned them a dozen times but right now, I feel like I need to mention them again.

I might not graduate this summer.

No, it's not because i have failed my entire year *touch wood*
No, I have not got a terminal illness.

It's because my University lecturers are striking for higher pay and refusing to mark work after April 27th until they are given a pay rise.

They are NOT stopping their research in the mean time. This is the real thing that would affect universities and their rankings. Stopping their research would send a serious message to the education department, but no, this is not being stopped. The thing that is being stopped is that which hurts innocent others and also means the lecturers have to do less of the thing they enjoy least about their job. It's like the CEOs of different companies refusing to do any work and instead saying they'll just take people out for drinks and take business trips to other countries.

TWO lecturers have ever cared about me at University. Two have cared about their students results. This is because, unlike secondary school teachers, bad grades do not reflect badly on lecturers. This is because bad grades does not equal less pay or less holiday. It also will not stop them from taking a year off from marking student papers to go on holiday, sorry, 'sabbatical' is the correct term.

One of my lecturers takes thirty minutes of my two hour lecture off, smoking outside with the students, and giving those smokers better grades than the rest of us even when they do not do a single bit of reading for the lecture. This same lecturer also has not marked two of my essays that I gave him last term. So I guess the strike will not really reflect his marking methods. He never answers his e-mails and is never in his office during his supposed 'office hours'. So...well go figure. This is the worst of the worst I must add. Others simply do not care, are clearly bored, do not put effort into their lectures or simply reel of lecture slides they have used for years with no updates and no corrections.

They don't care. They don't care because there are no consequences to not caring.

Lecturers still demand they get more than teachers, however. Teachers work A LOT. Trust me. They are working all the time. Preparing new exciting lessons, trying to think of a different way to approach the same subject, marking work so they can give it back that week and wishing and trying to get their students the best grades they can. Maybe, one could be cynical and say this is because bad grades reflect badly on a teacher. But teachers are caring individuals. You get the odd dodgy one but on the whole, they care. They start to look after their students as if they are their own children.

And yes, part of me thinks this is English University lecturers in particularly. American University lecturers care about their students a lot more. Not as much as my secondary school teachers but more than my University lecturers. If I was to rank all of the teaching experience I have had it would be :-

Secondary School Teachers,
Swimming Coaches,
Spanish Salamanca Teachers,
American University Lecturers,
Primary School Teachers,
Tennis coaches,






English University Lecturers.

 I am in a top 5 University. I think I deserve a little more than lecturers who could not care three flicks if I got a third class degree or a first class degree. They DO NOT deserve a pay rise. They SHOULD get back to their work and what they are being paid to do. And they SHOULD ALL spend a week shadowing a teacher. Even a part-time teacher, because they will do more for their students than most lecturers. Lecturers could learn a lot from teachers. They would also realise how f'ing lucky they are.

Lecturers get LONG UNIVERSITY holidays.
Lecturers go on holiday as 'part of their job'.
Lecturers have minimum contact with students.
Lecturers don't get the blame for bad grades.
Lecturers get paid more.

Take a good hard look at yourselves....and be ashamed of what you've become. Most of you got to go to University for free. Nowadays, students are paying nine grand for your 'expert' teaching. Are you worth that much? Do you provide that much? Think about it.

(Footnote: the above opinion is my own and based on my own experiences. I know that my opinions do not apply to all).

HAPPY THINGS!!!

1. UNIVERSITY HAS FINISHED. MY LAST FINAL LECTURE! AHHH

2. I GOT THE JOB. IM GOING TO HOGWARTS! 

3. I started doing some small cardio as my foot is feeling stronger (not officially allowed yet SHUSH) and still doing pilates and weights. 

4. I GOT A NEW SMOOTHIE MAKER (It's amazing and due to my awful cold I have only been eating smoothies for the last three days - YUMMMMMMMMM. I want to be ill forever NOW!) 

5. I went for dinner at a Vietnamese place with Sarah, Tom, Emily and Kirsty. 

6. Had a lovely day behind-the-scenes at a famous production studios!!!!! 

7. Been working hard on my essays. 

8. I got some protein powder, cookie and cream powder. I have it with water and its okish. And has now started drinking it like it's a milkshake...hehehe. 

9. Don't actually need to wear my boot anymore (Hospital wouldn't move my appointment and therefore I am just not going back...don't know if that is good or bad. And I have to work now so...can't have a boot. Went to the interview without my boot and crutches (was like Bambi on ice! Forgot how to walk). 

10. Friends and I are planning a holiday :D To Portugalllllll (AHHHH BETTY WHY AREN'T YOU THERE ANYMORE!!!!!!) Also thank you Cathi parents for letting us invade your place :D 

11. Umm kind of nice, all my shows are back....but it's bad at the same time. I AM WORKING SO I CAN'T WATCH YOU!!!! 

12. Made my own hummus :D (did i mention my amazing blender)

Sorry for being so negative recently! I've been having quite a tough year. But ah well, time for some positivity on this blog.

Last Saturday, I went to see the Vagina Monologues. It is a play, filled with monologues from different characters detailing times they have been embarrassed, excited, hurt or empowered due to their lady parts. I feel the play promotes female confidence and self-love. It is an extremely powerful play with some truly horrifying stories, and some extremely funny ones.

I had seen the play before. In UCSD. I had helped film it for Triton TV with Betty, Linda and Backstabber (thought this was a suitable nickname). Laura came too, however, she wasn't part of Triton TV. Now, I wasn't prepared for the play at that time, I must admit. I was not prepared at all. I am also easy-ably embarrassed, find anything of a sexual nature 'cringey', and tend to flinch at anything 'crude'. I am so grateful I was filming with a tripod as I think I'd have dropped the camera quite a few times or it would have shook as I resisted the urge to cover my face with my hands. However, I came away knowing the play was a great and powerful one.

This year my friend Cathi was in the play. Some of my friends from home came up to see the play. We all ate pizza outside before going to see Cathi perform. I was extremely conscious of the fact I was in crutches but everyone seemed to find it funny :) and I don't think I slowed anyone down. I was the one who went steaming across the road with Sarah when there was lots of trafficand we were trying to cross the road. Everyone quickly followed apart from Emily who elegantly stuck her hand out at an approaching car and crossed slowly. I swear she has magical powers sometimes.

The play was great. I had forgotten some particularly cringey moments but I believe I handled it well. No red face. No head in hands. No squirming. Cathi was brilliant. She performed a very serious piece but it put all my friends of giving birth for a while. The play was also far shorter than in UCSD. It was an hour long instead two hours and a half which took me by surprise.

I felt particularly sorry for Cathi's Dad at the back of the hall, I don't think he realised what he had let himself in for, and Andy who I kept throwing 'sorry' glances at during the play ( I found out afterwards he was extremely comfortable with anything that had been brought up). Before the play started, at the merchandise stall, I also had a particularly embarrassing moment commenting on how pretty a strawberry cake looked. Andy pointed out it was meant to be something else...then I suddenly went "Ew, what!" before realising the cake maker was on the other side of the table. I think I recovered well with a "Oh well, it's really pretty, interesting idea. Hahaha took me by surprise" before nearly tripping over my crutches in a desperate attempt to get away.

We then went and grabbed drinks at the bar and chatted away as usual. I bumped into Cathi's Mum who is so lovely and I love her to bits. We chatted away for ages :D. We then all went to a different bar and played pool. A random girlfriend of a distant friend came up to me and began drunkingly telling me "I'd be ok." and that she had been on crutches once too. It was very sweet of her but judging by her voice I knew she probably wasn't going to remember this conversation in the morning.

It was a lovely evening and it was really nice to see all of my friends come to support Cathi.  x

I am THAT GIRL. 

The one in crutches. The one hobbling along and trying to do her best to keep up with everyone around her. And to be honest...I am doing well. I speed crutch. I am walking faster than my friends when I am on crutches!

Andy is always saying "Am I making you rush? Why are you going so fast?"

The reason? BECAUSE OF ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE.

I thought that if I was on crutches...people would be nicer to me? Is that stupid? I really thought that would happen! I thought I would almost find it patronising how nice people would be to me....UM WRONG.

People speed up to go around you! No joke. I know the speed of Warwick walkers and they deliberately do a little run around you and THEN SLOW DOWN. So I end up having to overtake them ! Just because i am in crutches does not mean you HAVE TO overtake me! What is that? it's like when drivers feel they need to overtake Learner drivers despite the fact the Learner drivers are driving at the speed limit and are literally probably driving to the test centre. It is ridiculous. Mum was once driving my car after she had taken Becky out for a driving lesson and the learning plates were still on. My Mum has been driving for a good amount of years. Decades. And suddenly, all these people felt the need to overtake her. In her huge black jeep, when she is driving at the speed limit, somehow, no one has the same urge.

Then there is the hurtful comments.

"Why didn't she go the long way round for f**ks sake?" said one University of Warwick male student. Delightful individual. I was walking to my room on a little footpath. Why? Why? Because I am on CRUTCHES. I would always take the short cut. Why does it matter if I have two legs or one? Why would I want to spend an extra fifteen minutes getting to my room WHEN I AM ON CRUTCHES. If you are really that bothered, why don't you take the long way around? You have two healthy legs!

Then the library.
People glare at you on the silent floors as you try to find books. I am sorry, I AM WALKING. It isn't my fault I make a metal noise when I walk. I am not doing it on purpose yet you glare at me like i am talking on my phone...meanwhile your ignoring the girl who is actually talking on her phone.


Then LONDON. Yes I was only really talking about the University of Warwick and the pleasant students there to begin with...

London Tube. There are seats for disabled people. I technically qualify. There were a few seats towards the end of the carriage but I would have to hop past people with my crutches and I didn't want to bother them so I stood up. I fell over. No joke. I fell due to my lack of balance and my crutches. Did anyone then offer me the disabled seat they had taken up? Did they move to the seat further down the carriage which would be easy for them to access? No. Everyone just smirked.  I was so embarrassed and I wanted to cry. I wouldn't accept it if someone offered me their disabled seat. I really wouldn't. I'd be too embarrassed. But the offer?? It would have been nice.

London Victoria Station - no lifts going down. No lifts. So I hopped down the stairs and someone bashed into the behind of me and pushed me down the stairs. Just why? They rushed off and I didn't fall on my face, I slid down the remaining four steps. It wasn't even busy. It was 11 o clock in the morning. Not rush hour. There was no one next to me. Why did that businessman feel the need to do that? You wouldn't push a girl down the stairs? So why push the one with crutches?

The disabled lifts are nowhere near the station platforms. NO WHERE. I have to hop all the way to find them and THEN I have to hop all the way back to these platforms. It is so inconvenient, why would you do that? I guess it is to put off lazy people using the lifts (that is a whole other topic, I never realised how LAZY people are. I never take the lift. On principle! If I can take the stairs, I WILL! Yet people wait five minutes for the one lift in the library because they are too lazy to walk. I hope I make them feel a teeny bit embarrassed by this when I hop in on my crutches). But the thing is, it doesn't put lazy people off using the lifts. They will wait. They will walk to find them and actually get more exercise in doing so, they don't care.


Anyway. There is my little rant. Sorry it was so...rantish! x

As the exams draw ever closer the terms WORK WORK WORK have never been more suitable.

It's going to be tough. It is tough. It has already been tough.

Strange things have started happening to me in these past few weeks. Things which have never happened before - continual nightmares.

Every night now is accompanied by at least two of them. Sometimes they aren't even about work (for example, last night I dreamt that everywhere was flooded and crocodiles would jump out and grab you if you didn't stay in the centre of walking boards provided - to be honest this could have been influenced by the fact England is filling with water).

I have never had nightmares so frequently. It is quite nerve wracking. Sometimes, I even wake up with that nerve wracking, scared feeling within my chest and I forget the nightmare straight away. I still feel scared but I can't remember why. I have also been waking up a lot with my heart racing and my body paralysed. That is awful. All I can feel is my heart beating as fast as it can and I can't move or talk or anything.

BLAH

What does your body resort to when you're under stress, hey?

Anyway I hope everyone is having a nice Valentines Day! If you're not with someone spend the day with people you love like good friends or devote a day purely to yourself - eat a tub of ice cream ,have a bath, paint your nails etc.

I am working this Valentines Day...yes working. Just getting along with my work. So is Andy. I am also planning a trip to A & E (Accidents and Emergency Unit of the Hospital) first thing in the morning....I'll let you know how that goes....

Want to check out what other crazy thing I am doing with my life right now?

afaddieter.blogspot.com

Heheheheh basically.....showing that FAD diets do not work! Trying out all the ones I can think of and seeing how well I do :D. It's just a bit of fun! Hope you enjoy!

Love x